


Mi6 Day Care

by Danger_Zone24



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Funny - hopefully..., M/M, Multi, Poor M gets stuck, Q is a Holmes, Squint and you'll see the relationships, Toddler turning ray gun, dialogue only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 19:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12589264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danger_Zone24/pseuds/Danger_Zone24
Summary: There was miss use of a new ray gun and M(allory) ends up looking after toddlers.





	Mi6 Day Care

**Tanner:** “I’m very sorry M, Prime Minister, but please excuse my interruption.”

 **M:** “Yes, Tanner?”

 **Tanner:** “Um…”

 **M:** “Spit it out.”

 **Tanner:** “WehaveariotinQ-BranchandweneednappieslikenowandthequartermasterneedstocomebackfromlunchwithMoneypennyandnoonewantstogethimbecausedeath.”

 **M:** “Say that again but slower.”

 **Mycroft:** “No, it’s fine. I got that **.”**

 **M:** “Prime Minister…”

 **Mycroft:** “It is perfectly fine, M. The sooner we get my brothers department back under control for him, the sooner we can get back to our chess game… I mean meeting…”

 **M:** “Ok, so?”

 **Mycroft:** “Right, there’s a riot in Q-Branch. They need nappies and someone needs to get my dear brother from his lunch break with Moneypenny but no one wants to?”

 **Tanner:** “That is correct.”

 **M:** “Why will no one get him?”

 **Tanner:** “Death, Sir. Interrupt Q when he’s with Moneypenny, Six or Seven and you’ll die. Especially if it’s the last two and if it’s after a mission.”

 **M:** “Fair enough.”

 **Mycroft:** “… And I didn’t want to know that about my baby brother.”

 **M:** “You get us to spy on him so what’s the difference?”

 **Mycroft:** “Touché.”

 **Tanner:** “People please!… Sorry. It’s just a nightmare and we need to have it fixed five minutes ago.”

 **Mycroft:** “Right. I’ll get my driver to kidnap Q from lunch. It’s been a while since I’ve had to do that to someone sadly. Anyway what was the next point?”

 **Tanner:** “The rioting, Sir. And nappies.”

 **M:** “Please explain?”

 **Tanner:** “The minions, Sir, where playing with the new ray gun even though Q told them not too.”

 **M:** “That’s no reason to chuck a riot!”

 **Tanner:** “And they shot Six and Seven.”

 **M:** “TANNER!”

 **Tanner:** “No, no, no, they’re ok, Sir...”

 **Mycroft:** “So where do nappies come into this?”

 **Tanner:** “Well, you see the ray gun may have, kind of, turned them into toddlers… Sir.”

 **M:** “I’m sorry, Tanner, can you please repeat that?”

 **Tanner:** “Six and Seven, Sir, are babies.”

 **M:** “You’re serious.”

 **Tanner:** “Yes Sir.”

 **M:** “Two feet high and everything?”

 **Tanner:** “Yes Sir. They have also seemed to revert to their mother tongues.”

 **M:** “Well, that’ll prove fun.”

 **Mycroft:** “Yes, yes indeed. Oh, what a great day this is turning out to be. Come on, let’s go see.”

 **M:** “You seem a little too happy, Prime Minister.”

 **Mycroft:** “Oh yes. This is better then any revenge plan I’ve been coming up with. You should have seen what Q and those two buffoons of his did to my poor Greg.”

 **M:** “I can imagine…”

 **Mycroft:** “Ooh this is incredible! Tanner! Phone my driver with a list of any baby stuff you want. Also could you get Greg and my other brother here… oh and his buffoon too.”

 **M:** “But Prime Minister! Security clearances!”

 **Mycroft:** “Don’t you know they’ve all been in here every other week?”

 **M:** “You bloody Holmes’s! Tanner?”

 **Tanner:** “It’s true, Sir.”

 **M:** “And you’ve done nothing?”

 **Tanner:** “Not my section.”

 **M:** “Agh. Ooof… um. There seems to be something attached to my leg…”

**Alec:** _“Bossy man!”_

**James: “Biiiiigggg bossy man.”**

**M:** “What are they saying?”

 **Tanner:** “I don’t know. I can’t speak Gaelic or Russian.”

 **M:** “I thought you guys had translators or at least were organising some?”

 **Tanner:** “They don’t want to go near these two terrors.”

 **M:** “Terrors indeed… Stop laughing Prime Minister… Oh yay here’s more Holmes and their crew.”

 **John:** “Your plan, Mycroft?”

 **Mycroft:** “No, unfortunately not.”

 **Sherlock:** “Obviously.”

 **Mycroft:** “Shut up, Sherlock.”

 **Sherlock:** “Make me.”

 **Mycroft:** “Don’t tempt me!… Ooof.”

 **Sherlock:** “Ooof. Wwwwhhhhhaaaaatttt? Jjjjjaaaawwwwnnnn!”

 **Mycroft:** “Wwwaaahhhh! Gggwwwwweeeeeggggg!”

 **Q:** “Sorry I was late to the party.”

 **M:** “Q! Why, oh why?”

 **Q:** “Because I could, and look what they did to my boys!”

 **Greg:** “It wasn’t them, Q.”

 **Q:** “Oh?”

 **Greg:** “Hang on, don’t point that thing at me!”

 **John:** “Greg, don’t stand behind me! He’s right you know.”

 **Q:** “Can someone please explain?”

 **R:** “Um… it was us, Overlord.”

 **Q:** “R?”

 **R:** “We know you told us not too, but we couldn’t resist trying the gun out…”

 **Q:** “Seriously I expect this behaviour from the Double-Os not you guys.”

 **R:** “We know.”

 **M:** “Well, we now have to turn four people back into adults. Also can you detach them all from me please.”

 **Q:** “No.”

 **M:** “No?”

 **Q:** “I’m not working with them here. They’re bad enough when they’re adults.”

 **M:** “I’m not a day-care! I’m the head of Mi bloody 6!”

 **Q:** “Welcome to my world. I babysit the entire Double-0 division on a daily basis.”

 **M:** “Q!”

 **Q:** “Not my problem. Well. Kind of. I’m working on it ok. But not with any toddlers around, so deal.”

 **M:** “Moneypenny! Tanner! Please stop laughing and help me!”

 **Moneypenny:** “Like Q said. Not our problem.”

 **M:** “Greg? John?”

 **Greg:** “Sorry, not my division.”

 **John:** “Yep, I’m going for a drink. Coming Greg?”

 **Greg:** “Don’t mind if I do. Enjoy the kids. See you later, Myc. Be good... Well, when are you ever.”

 **John:** “Bye Sherlock.”

 **Sherlock:** “Waaaahhhhh, Jaaaawwwwnnnnn. No go.”

 **Mycroft:** “He poked-ed me!”

 **M:** “Don’t poke back.”

 **Mycroft:** “Buuuuuttttt….”

 **M:** “No, now come on you lot. What did I ever do to deserve this? No, no, no don’t do that. Shit, shit, shit, fingers out of that James! Alec! ALEC! Come back! Prime Minister! Sherlock! Stop fighting! Jesus Christ! A day? A day. I can do this…”

 **Minion:** “M?”

 **M:** “Yes?”

 **Minion:** “Tanner said to give you this.”

 **M:** “Oh thank you… What is it?”

 **Minion:** “Nappies, Sir. I think there’s some toys and other bits and bobs in there too.”

 **M:** “Great. I don’t suppose you know how to change…?”

 **Minion:** “No, I don’t Sir. Good luck though, looks like you need it. Oh, and Q was mumbling something about a week?”

 **M:** “A week? A WEEK?”

 **Alec, James, Mycroft, Sherlock:** “WAAAHHHHH.”

 **M:** “Oh come on you four, shhhhh. Sssshhhhh. Look here’s a teddy for each of you.”

 **Mycroft:** “I wan the wed one.”

 **Sherlock:** “Nah uh. Mine.”

 **Alec:** “ _Me dinosaur. RAWWWRRRRRR.”_

 **James:** **“No me dinosaur. RAWR.”**

 **M:** “Right. Look here, there are two red ones so you two can have one each. They’re exactly the same, boys, so no more fighting… or eating each other’s fingers. I suppose all this roaring is over the dinosaur. Um hold on this tiger roars too?”

 **Alec:** “ _Tiger! RAWR.”_

 **M:** “Well, that solves that. Here James, one dinosaur for you. Come along.”

 **James:** **“RAWWRRR! Me so scawy!”**

 **Mycroft:** “Where we going?”

 **Sherlock:** “Yeah, wwwhhhheree?”

 **M:** “To somewhere not here.”

 **Alec:** “ _Cars? Vvrroom vvrrroom?”_

 **M:** “Uhhh, no? No vvrroom vvrroom.”

 **Alec, James, Mycroft, Sherlock:** “WAAAHHHHH. Vvvrroom, vvvrroom.”

 **M:** “No, no, no. Ssshhhh. Look, here are some toy cars. One each, ok, one each!”

 **Sherlock:** “Vvrrroooom”

 **Mycroft:** “Nah uh, they go zooooom.”

 **James:** **“Vvrrooom.”**

 **Alec:** “ _Vvrroooom vvrrrooooooooommm beep beep.”_

 **M:** “Slow down! Turn here! TURN! No other way! … And people do this everyday? Good lord.”

 

~~~ Many Many Hours Later ~~~

 

 **Q:** “Knock knock… M?”

 **Greg:** “Bloody hell, it looks like a bomb went off in here.”

 **Moneypenny:** “Bomb? M’s office?”

 **Tanner:** “Security!”

 **Q:** “Hold off security! It’s ok!”

 **John:** “It’s ok? It doesn’t look ok in here.”

 **Q:** “Great deduction there, John.”

 **John:** “He started it!”

 **Greg:** “Blaming me again now are we? How childish.”

 **M:** “And I thought I only had to deal with these four trouble makers.”

 **Q:** “Sorry for disturbing your sleep, Sir…”

 **M:** “That’s quite alright. It’s lucky you didn’t wake the young ones up.”

 **Tanner:** “Sir, would you like a cleaning crew up in here?”

 **M:** “Yes please. Moneypenny, could you get five happy meals brought up?”

 **Moneypenny:** “Five, Sir?”

 **M:** “Yes, five. Because I would like one after Q gives me the great news that he has a reverse for all this mess or is at least getting these hooligans off my hands so I can actually do my proper job. And the other four for these four.”

 **Q:** “Actually, we were just checking on the boys before we headed off…”

 **M:** “I swear to God Q…”

 **Q:** “But Sir, you do seem like a natural toddler wrangler.”

 **Greg:** “That’s true. I mean Sherlock and Mycroft haven’t killed each other yet.”

 **John:** “And as little kids? That must’ve been a nightmare.”

 **Q:** “Also Alec and James haven’t ended up in Medical with half the place blown up, which is a minor miracle. Really, Sir, I may put you in the running for a knighthood or even to be classed as a saint.”

 **R:** “WE DID IT!”

 **M:** “Oh no.”

 **Alec, James, Mycroft, Sherlock:** “WAAAHHHHH.”

 **R:** “Sorry. Here let me fix... There we are.”

 **M:** “Fantastic. Tanner, cancel the cleaning crew. Everyone in this room apart from me can clean it… No, I’ve had enough winging and whining for a lifetime. I don’t care if you had nothing to do with it… And Moneypenny? I still want those happy meals, yes all of them, just send them to my house.”

 **Moneypenny:** “You’re going home, Sir?”

 **M:** “No, I’m going to go open my own day care. Of course I’m going home. At least there will be peace and quiet… Oh and you four, don’t whatever you do, make more mess please.”

 **Alec:** “Mess? Us?”

 **James:** “Yeah. It was those two who did most of it.”

 **Mycroft:** “Do you really want Sherlock and I to go around and point out everything you did?”

 **Sherlock:** “How about we start with the chair Mycroft? And your umbrella?”

 **John:** “Let me guess…”

 **Sherlock:** “Guess? Have you not picked anything up?”

 **Greg:** “Don’t worry Myc, I’ll buy you a new umbrella.”

 **Q:** “You may want to stick to wheelie chairs though Greg, brother dearest here is scared of horses.”

 **James:** “Neigh! Neigh!”

 **Mycroft:** “I AM NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING!”

 **Moneypenny:** “Beer?”

 **Tanner:** “Please. And if M asks…”

 **Moneypenny:** “Distract and run.”


End file.
